Just as Long as I Have Breath
by hasapi
Summary: [COMPLETE] Songfic. Jess and Rory think about their relationship with each other.
1. Just as Long as I Have Breath

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is owned by the following people: Alica S. Carpenter (words), Johann G. Ebeling (music), and John Edwin Giles (harmony); and organization: Unitarian Universalist Association, and was published in Singing the Living Tradition. The characters are owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino, are played by Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia, and the WB owns the show. All I own are some books, and some of those I don't even own since I haven't paid my bill yet this month. 

A/N: This is the first part of a three-part "Gilmore Girls" songfic. Literati.

_Just as long as I have breath_

_I will answer "Yes" to life_

And though I'd say for eternity, I don't know what's going to happen when I die. I'm not going to break a promise to you. You're the reason I want to live, the only reason I don't want to die. 

_Though with pain I made my way_

_Still with hope I meet each day_

Hoping when I come downstairs that you'll be there to greet me. Smile at me. Wishing that this pain I fell will just end, that you will break up with him, and I can take his place.

_If they ask what I did well_

_Tell them I said "Yes" to life_

Letting you in was the best and worst thing I ever did. You gave me a reason to live, a reason not to give up. A reason to get up each day. But the pain is still there…

A/N: Sorry it's short. I'll only post more if I know people are reading. One review, that's all I'm asking. Even if it's just one word. 


	2. Just as Long as Vision Lasts

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is owned by the following people: Alica S. Carpenter (words), Johann G. Ebeling (music), and John Edwin Giles (harmony); and organization: Unitarian Universalist Association, and was published in Singing the Living Tradition. The characters are owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino, are played by Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia, and the WB owns the show. 

A/N: This is the second part in a three-part songfic. Literati. Special thanks to the unknown person who reviewed. 

_Just as long as vision lasts_

_I must answer "Yes" to truth_

But I wish it weren't so hard. I … have a boyfriend. I love him, don't I? If I can't be truthful to myself, how can I be truthful to anyone else? But if I don't love him … why? Why not? He's the best boyfriend. My mom loves him, he loves me … and … I … love him. Don't I???

_In my dream and in my dark_

_Always that elusive spark_

The spark isn't there anymore. I'm not sure it ever was. Just the "first boyfriend," "true love." I did love him, though, I know I did. But … there's always him. The diner boy. My mom hates him. But she doesn't know … know what? How do I feel? There's something there …

_If they ask what I did well…___

There's only one thing to do … And I have to do it now, before I lose my nerve, or I'll regret not doing it for the rest of my life. Here I am. I'm out the window, jogging towards the diner. I can only hope he feels the same way …

_Tell them I said "Yes" to truth._


	3. Just as Long as My Heart Beats

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is owned by the following people: Alica S. Carpenter (words), Johann G. Ebeling (music), and John Edwin Giles (harmony); and organization: Unitarian Universalist Association, and was published in Singing the Living Tradition. The characters are owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino, are played by Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia, and the WB owns the show. 

A/N: This is the third and final part in a three-part songfic. Literati. Thanks to the two people who have so far reviewed.

_Just as long as my heart beats_

_I must answer "Yes" to love_

Here I am, sitting in the diner. Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Thinking of Her. Only Her. I have a book, but my eyes skim over the words, searching for a hidden meaning not there.

_Disappointment pierced me through_

_Still I kept on loving you_

Thinking of you, with him. I wonder if you're there right now. I wonder if you'll ever know how much it hurts, sitting here, knowing you're with him. If you'll ever know how much I feel. And this feeling won't go away…

_If they ask what I did best …___

What's that? A sound. I look out the window. There you are, tossing rocks up at my bedroom window. I smile, wondering what brought you here at this time of night. I stand up. Walk outside. You look at me. I see the hesitance in your eyes. Suddenly, your lips are on mine. After a few seconds, when you begin to pull away, I pull you back. Your arms are wrapped around my neck. Suddenly you pull away. You ask me something. I'm still too dazed to hear it.

"What?"

"What does this mean?"

The way she stood there, looking at me, made my hackles go up.

"What does it mean?! It means whatever you want it to mean. It was a mistake? Fine. That's what it was. It means nothing."

I see tears form in her eyes, and instantly regret what I said, and try to take it back. 

"Don't –"

"No. I'm going to say what I came here to say. I love you, Jess. I'm breaking up with Dean. I don't care if you don't feel the same way. I'm tired of lying to everyone, including myself. I'll see you tomorrow."

She turns to leave. I grab her hand, pull her to me. Looking into her bright blue eyes, the words I had waited so long to say came as easily as I had expected.

"I love you, Rory Gilmore."

The joy in her eyes is overwhelming. It closely mirrors my own.

Loving her is the best thing I can ever do.

_Tell them I said "Yes" to love._

A/N: That's it! No more is coming, but if I get another idea I'll write another fanfic. Just don't expect anymore on this front. Anywayz, I just wanted to mention that this song was from my church hymnal. I'm generally the first person they go to when the regular pianist and the back-up can't make it. This was one of the songs I played at the last service. Since then, I've been playing it a lot, at home. I got to thinking about the words, and this songfic was the result.


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